


Stay

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Reaper76 [38]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Friendship, Hurt, Lies, Love, M/M, Masks, Protectiveness, Unspoken words, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-01 02:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16276469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: ‘Looking back, I almost thought I heard you say ‘stay’, you’re not gonna leave me, this place is right where you need to be’In the wake of the Uprising everything is coming apart, and in the midst of it all Gabriel finds himself being pushed away by Jack's attempts to protect everyone around him.





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Schmogg's work:http://schmogg.tumblr.com/post/159902414948/lookingback-i-almost-thought-i-heard-you-say

_‘Looking back, I almost thought I heard you say ‘stay’, you’re not gonna leave me, this place is right where you need to be.’_

****

“…The U.N. is expected to hold an emergency session in response to the recent Uprising in London. The main topic is likely to be Overwatch’s response to the emergency, as despite the public hailing their actions which many argue prevented far more devastation, there has been considerable political outcry…”

   Gabriel growled under his breath as he reached out to turn off the holo-feed, pausing for a moment as Jack’s image appeared on screen, but hastily stopping it before he could hear yet another replay of the press conference from earlier. The words were probably drilled into his head by now, and he wondered if he was the only one who had caught the edge in the blond’s voice, the emptiness behind the blue eyes. Hell, sometimes he wondered if Jack was even aware of how he looked these days.

   Sighing he settled back in his chair, rolling his shoulders to try and alleviate the tension he could feel building up, fingers tapping anxiously against the desk as he fought the urge to turn the news on again. He was worried. Things had been going to hell before London, and now…he grimaced as he glanced at the papers littering his desk, the flashing symbol on the screen that informed he had over two dozen messages needing to be read and thought about the six missed calls from Petras that he might eventually get around to returning. It was piling up, and even he was struggling under the weight. Not that he would show it publicly, especially not around Ana who seemed to frown more than she smiled these days even around Fareeha. And then there was Jack…the tension spiked, worry and affection, blending with irritation and something that felt worryingly close to dislike some days. Jack was falling apart. Oh, it was hidden behind pretty words and that empty smile, but Gabriel could see it as clear as days and he had no idea how to fix it, how to help, at least not beyond hiding his own concerns.

   That wasn’t going to work forever though, and he sighed, glancing at the picture of the three of them that still sat in pride of place on his desk, gaze lingering on the bright smile on Jack’s face and missing it with an intensity that he hadn’t let himself feel in a while. His hand halfway to the communicator before he realised it, and for once he didn’t falter, halfway through searching for Jack’s name on the screen, distantly wondering when he had removed the other man from his speed dial, when there was a sharp knock on the door. Snarling, he snatched his hand back, tempted to lambast whoever had disturbed him but he forced the urge back, and not because for a moment Jack’s face had flashed through his mind, brow creased in disappointment even as that half-smile he used to wear whilst scolding Gabriel tugged at his lips and he sighed before calling.

“Come in!”

   He didn’t recognise the agent that entered, but that wasn’t that unusual these days and for a moment he ached, remembering the old days when everyone had known everyone. It had been easier to trust who had your back, back then. It had been easier to trust Jack’s smiles and words, because there had been no secrets, no need to toe the company line because they were the company line. “Sir?” It took him a moment to realise that the agent was stood in front of the desk, her face contorted with a mix of concern and fear, the latter amusing him for a second, wondering what rumours were circulating about him now.

“What is it?” He was being short, but his fingers were still itching to reach out and call Jack and he wasn’t in the mood for entertaining someone who listened to rumours. He caught the way she flinched but had to admit he was impressed when she straightened and closed the distance between them holding out a narrow file and his eyes narrowed as he spied the bright blue folder. It was from Jack.

“Strike Commander Morrison asked me to deliver this,” she confirmed his thoughts, and he sighed, catching the prompt to take it and he reluctantly did so glancing down at it and pausing when he realised that there was no insignia on the cover. _Off the records_. His hands closed on the file before he glanced at her, realising that she hadn’t moved and idly wondering what Jack was teaching his recruits these days, the Blackwatch agents had learned swiftly to do their task and retreat and maybe that was why he had so many rumours circulating about him.

“Does he need a reply?”

“He said that he would leave that to your discretion.” That meant that it was something he wasn’t going to like, which recently could mean anything, and he growled under his breath, before nodding at her in dismissal, arching an eyebrow when she hesitated for a moment before turning and leaving the room.

   Gabriel hesitated for a few minutes, torn between calling Jack and reading the file. He had a feeling that he would be less inclined to talk to Jack after reading the damn thing, but he also knew Jack. He wouldn’t talk about anything else if he called, and with a defeated sigh he set the file down on his desk and pressed his thumb to the lock on the side, feeling the warmth that tickled his skin as it scanned him. It opened easily, and he felt flicker of uneasiness when he realised just how thin the file was, just a couple of sheets, eyes darting to the ticket and gold embossed invitation pinned at the front before reaching out and lifting them up and scanning the document beneath them. It takes a moment for the words to penetrate, and it takes less than that for the fury and disbelief to settle in, the document creasing as his hands clench around it.

_What the hell?!_

**

   Jack hadn’t been in his office when he had gone storming up there, something which had done little to improve his mood and he had ended up snapping at Ana who had bumped into him on the way and he knew that he would pay for the tone he had taken with her at some point. For now, though he was too focused on Jack to worry about her future revenge, reversing course and heading for the one place he knew the other man would have retreated too. Clearly, he had known that Gabriel wasn’t going to take this sitting down and had wanted privacy for the conversation.

   Sure, enough he finds Jack on the communication tower, leaning against the railing and looking out over the base, his back to Gabriel and despite his anger he finds himself hesitating in the doorway and just studying the other man. He’s breath-taking like this, broad form illuminated by the soft light of the sun setting beyond him but when Gabriel takes a step forward the image wavers, fading away, until all he can see is a man on the edge. The light means that he can’t miss the grey threaded through the blond, more and more appearing each day or the way his shoulders are bowed, his hands curling around the railing as though it’s the only thing keeping him upright and Gabriel can feel his anger dimming. _Jack_ … He aches to step forward and wrap the other man in a hug, but he knows that it won’t change anything, that it won’t fix anything, and his own helplessness whips his anger up anew and he stalks forward.

“What the hell is this about, Morrison?”

“Hello to you too, Reyes,” Jack sounds as exhausted as he looks, turning to look at him and it is the haunted look in the blue eyes, nothing like his attempt at normality during the press conference, rather than his pointed use of Gabriel’s surname that bring Gabriel up short.

“Jack.” This time he doesn’t fight the urge, instead closing the distance between them, Jack already turning to meet him, letting him pull him into a loose hug. This close there is no way for him to miss the way Jack is trembling, not something that anyone else would notice, and his heart aches at the way that Jack is trying to make himself small against him. Jack wasn’t falling apart anymore, he had already shattered, and Gabriel hadn’t noticed, and his arms tighten around Jack as though that will be enough to hold him together, fingers toying with the bottom of Jack’s hair, drawing soothing patterns on the back of Jack’s neck. “Easy, I’m here.” _I’m always here,_ he wanted to point out, but now wasn’t the time and so he held it back and just held on, feeling Jack shuddering at his words.

“You won’t always be.”

   Gabriel tensed, hating that even now when he is coming apart at the seams Jack is still focusing on the job and for a moment he’s tempted to tell him to just shut up, to push it all away until tomorrow. He knows that won’t work though, even before Jack pulls back, not quite out of his embrace but enough that they can look at each other and he sighs before giving in.

“You really expect me to go along with this?” It comes out softer than he had intended, it’s hard to maintain his anger in the face of Jack’s brokenness and instead there is a hint of desperation in his voice as he continues. “Leaving you here to be thrown to the wolves?” Admittedly he had felt a little like Jack had done just that to him when everything had hit the fan for Blackwatch, but there was no way he could do that to Jack, not when he looked like he did right now, at least not until Jack’s lips quirk up in a hollow smile.

“They’re not going to throw me to the wolves.”

“Do you even believe half the things you’re saying these days?” Gabriel demanded, releasing Jack as his hands curled into fists at his side and right now all he can see is the empty smile and even emptier words from the press conference. “I know you’re shouldering the blame for what happened with the Uprising, taking the heat from Ziegler and the others, but…”

“I made the call,” Jack replied, making it sound like the most reasonable thing in the world. “They were there on my command.”

“And I know that you made it plain to them that it was unauthorised,” Gabriel countered, remembering the briefing and how desperate Jack had been to make them understand, to offer them an out if they wanted it. “They were and are ready to take the flack for that, even Tracer as new as she is would happily defend that mission.”

“But at what cost?”

“Jack?”

“We need Angela, she’s the core of our medical division,” Jack replied, turning away as the fake smile disappeared from his face and Gabriel was torn between relief that it was gone, and worry that the other man was retreating. “And how many times have Reinhardt and Tjorbörn saved our asses? How much have we relied on their skills to get through fights that should have been impossible? And Tracer…Lena…” He faltered for a moment, moving just enough to give Gabriel a view of the lost expression on his face and the way he was staring down at his hands. “She gave me back something I thought I had lost.” Gabriel wants to ask what that is, having a feeling he won’t like the answer, but he wasn’t given a chance as Jack was already continuing. “None of them are expendable."

“And you are?” Gabriel demanded.

“Yes.”

   The lack of hesitation in Jack’s response floors him for a moment. He can’t move, can’t breathe, because Jack is anything but expendable. He can feel everything bubbling up and threatening to break out, and when he finally manages to get his voice to work he’s unsurprised by the waver.

“And what am I?” _Please don’t say it_ , he can’t help but think back to the day Jack had ordered the suspension of all Blackwatch duties to counter the accusations floating around. Was that what had been going through his mind back then? That concern pales in comparison to the way Jack had sounded so accepting, so certain of his own worthlessness and he finds himself taking a step forward and reaching or Jack, gripping his arm. “Jack, if you’re expendable then I’m even more so.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Jack…” It pains him to realise that part of him had been expecting Jack to say that he was, even though he knew that Jack had been doing everything he could to keep Blackwatch in the clear, to keep him in the clear. Hell, Jack could have had his job and anything he wanted just for the fact that Gabriel had gone behind his back and let McCree loose in the field, but he had let it go, just like that and now he didn’t know what to say. Because Jack had sounded just as certain as he had a moment ago.

“That’s why I gave you this mission…”

“It’s not a mission, it’s…”

“Protection.”

“Protection?” He’s torn between laughter and anger, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to take it. And there was no way in hell the old Jack would have even thought for a moment that he would run away, go and play nice with some dignitaries whilst everything fell apart behind him. “Jack, if you think for one moment that I’m going to let them…”

“This one didn’t come from them.” Jack cuts him off, already knowing what he’s going to say. It’s an old argument by this stage, Gabriel constantly calling him on the fact that he’s just become a mouthpiece for people like Petras, that he’s let them bind his hands and his lips quirk up slightly when Gabriel pauses at the confession, eyes fixed on him, no doubt searching for some hint of a lie and he holds his gaze for a moment. “Things might have blown over eventually if it was just Blackwatch, but London, they’re not going to let that slide. Petras has been on the line almost constantly, the media won’t leave it alone and the England’s Prime Minister…” They both grimace at that, and for a moment it’s just like old times, but then Jack is continuing, hunching in on himself once more, stress written across his face. “This storm isn’t going away, and whether you think I’m expendable or not, it’s my head that’s got a nice target painted on it.”

“So, your answer is to send me away?”

“I need to know you’re safe, that you have a way out of this mess,” Jack waves his hands, seemingly gesturing to the base but Gabriel has a feeling that he was aiming more at himself. “You just have to play nice for a few days, let the media see a different side to Blackwatch. It shouldn’t take much longer than that.”

“Jack…” _Was it really that bad?_ There was no lie in Jack’s eyes now, no fake smile, just a broken man no longer trying to hide how shattered he was and suddenly Gabriel would give anything for that false image because this Jack scared him. “I’m not-.”

“Please.” This time Jack is the one closing the distance between them, not quite pulling Gabriel into an embrace, but close. “Gabe, I can’t control anything else right now, but…” _Let me do this much…_

   It had to be karma. Bad karma. How many times has he argued with Jack, demanding that he do something, anything, rather than just bowing to their demands all the time. He finally got his wish. He has a feeling that Petras and the others would be horrified if Gabriel was the one to turn up at the series of banquets and meetings in Europe that were intended to make Overwatch more accessible. But this wasn’t what he had wanted, and yet he could feel his resolve wavering under Jack’s pleading gaze and he growled, casting around for an argument that he could use to change Jack’s mind, wishing that Ana was here as she always knew what to say, eyes lighting up as a thought occurred to him. “What about Ana?” _You can’t protect one and not the other_ , whilst he and Jack shared a different kind of closeness, they were still a trio and…

“Ana is going to take some leave, something about taking Fareeha on holiday.”

“You really did think of everything.” It’s not a compliment and part of him just wants to shove Jack away and tell him to stuff his orders. He’s not sure what would happen if he did. He’s always had a certain amount of leeway around the other man, but there’s a stubbornness surfacing amongst the shattered pieces and he has a feeling that this time Jack will push back and push hard. Is it worth it? The thought of leaving leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. The thought of leaving Jack to face whatever is coming on his own leaving an even worse one, but what can he do? His voice, his image is already in tatters in the eyes of those in power, he could be stood there and telling them that they’re idiots and that Jack Morrison is the best thing to happen to Overwatch until he’s blue in the face and they wouldn’t listen. And doing that wouldn’t help Jack, it would just be adding to the number of things, the number of people he has to worry about and Gabe just can’t do that to him. The word tastes like ash in his mouth and he can’t hold Jack’s gaze as he finally capitulates. “Fine.”

“Thank you.”

 _Don’t thank me._ He hates this, hates that he’s agreed to it. He hates Jack for asking it of him in the first place, his mind already racing as he tried to work out how he can help turn the situation around, how he can remove the target from Jack’s back. He can’t do that with Jack watching him with eyes watery with relief, not when he wants to punch him for being such a self-sacrificing idiot, for daring to think he’s expendable and he starts to pull away, voice sharp as he forces himself to put some distance between them. “If that is all, Strike Commander…” It hurts to use the title, to speak of the job that is tearing them both apart and now threatening everything they held dear and he feels Jack flinch, but rather than letting him go, Jack’s grip tightened.

“Gabe…” _Stay_. They can both hear the unspoken word and despite everything Gabriel waits, leaning into Jack, praying that he will say it aloud, that he will take back everything he has just said. That just for once, even if it’s just for a minute, he will admit that he still needs him. _Please_. He’s not even sure if it hurts anymore when the silence stretches on, and it’s painfully easy for him to adopt a neutral expression when Jack’s grip slowly loosens and to take a step back.

   The brokenness is being forced back behind a mask in front of his eyes, not that it fools him, but he can feel the chasm that springs up between them when Jack gives him that haunting, empty smile from the press conference. “You have your orders Commander Reyes.” _Stay, this is where you belong, where you're supposed to be...go, please be safe…_ The unspoken words are heavy in the air between them and Gabriel finds himself taking a step forward, reaching for Jack, but the blue eyes are hard and empty now. The moment of togetherness lost, because Jack is set on this path and until he has a plan to counter it there is nothing Gabriel can do and so he turns away, hating himself for it. He can’t speak, terrified that anything he does said might be the last words they share. Trying not to look back as he stepped back into the tower, and yet he couldn’t resist glancing back, just in time to see Jack slumping back against the railing, defeat and relief radiating from his hunched soldiers and it takes everything he has not to rush back to him, to not stay even though he knows that it would be against Jack’s wishes. There is a heaviness that he can’t ignore as he turns away, his usual mask completely shattered as he retreats, leaving the lonely figure behind.

_Jack, you idiot, why couldn’t you ask me to stay?_


End file.
